All This And Heaven Too
by Red Fez
Summary: Dean is newly deceased, Cas is a reaper, and Meg is now in charge of the New York City reaper branch. Absolutely nothing could go wrong. Destiel AU. Sequel to Heaven's So Far Away.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the sequel to Heaven's So Far Away, so you probably ought to read that before reading this. This is a work in progress, so updates will be inconsistent. I'm going to try to update every other week, but god knows that won't happen.**

* * *

Numb. That was the only way to describe how he felt. A feeling of... unfeeling seeping throughout his body.

He could still feel Ruby's arms around him, and he angrily pushed her away, standing as he did so. Stumbling backwards, Castiel stared in shock at his friends. His brain was trying to keep up with everything, but it was hopelessly behind.

"I - I need to go," Cas muttered before turning and fleeing the room.

His thoughts still in turmoil, Castiel let his feet carry him out of the house and down the street.

When he finally stopped, it was to find himself in front of his own grave. Castiel glanced around, taking in his surroundings, before gazing down at the headstone.

He could feel the tears leave his eyes and pass along the skin on his cheek before they reached his chin and jaw, inevitably to drip off, down onto the ground. Castiel sank to his knees, clutching at his hair as a sob racked through his body. He'd never thought this could happen. That Dean would die. He'd known it would eventually happen, but Castiel had been expecting years, not weeks.

Another sob tore through him, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop more tears from spilling out. He stayed like that for an hour before he couldn't cry anymore, could barely stand.

The numbness he'd felt early was worse, and he stared vacantly ahead, trying to think. Think about what to do. Think about happy times. Anything but Dean being dead.

Castiel turned his gaze skyward, an angry glint in his eyes. His hands balled into fists at his side, he screamed into the sky, "You can't just take him away like that!" He didn't know who there was to scream at up in space, but it helped, however minutely.

Castiel wiped any tears remaining on his face away before bowing his head.

The numbness had left him, leaving only a boiling rage. Rage at the other reapers for not telling him right away. Rage at Michael for not saying something. Rage at god, the universe - at everything - for not letting him have the one good thing left to him.

Castiel felt tears begin to fall from his eyes again, and he wiped them away before leaving the cemetery.

-x-

He spent the day wandering the small suburb. Most people didn't give him a second glance, but a few gave him wide eyed stares.

When it was time for the Roadhouse to open, he was there. But Ellen took one look at his appearance and demanded an explanation. She saw his eyes, red rimmed from crying. She saw his hair, mussed from when he'd pulled on it. She saw his vacant expression, and demanded he tell her what had happened.

"Dean's - missing," Castiel replied in a hollow voice.

Ellen's eyes widened in alarm. "What do you mean, missing?"

Castiel's eyes finally raised to meet hers, and an angry glint appeared in them. "I mean that nobody's seen him for three days!" he snapped back.

Ellen's face became grim. "Shit," she spoke after a few minutes silence. By then, Castiel had already moved to the bar counter, where he began getting ready for the customers, an eery robotic touch to his movements.

Ellen quickly came over to Cas. "Go home. I can't have you working when you're like this."

Castiel switched his blue gaze from the counter over to her. An inconsolable rage burned in the sapphire depths, but he didn't say anything.

"I'm sure he'll turn up tomorrow," Ellen tried to reassure him. "He was thinking about taking that road trip, you know."

Castiel nodded. "I'm aware," he said dryly, "but he would have told me before he left."

Ellen shook her head slightly, such a small movement Cas almost missed it. "He might not have. You are just a friend. A new one, at that."

Castiel glared up at her, but didn't offer up any other words. Ellen didn't know about his and Dean's relationship. How could she? She still thought Dean was mourning for him.

"Go home," Ellen said again, much more gently than before.

Castiel shook his head but allowed her to lead him away when tear began prickling his eyes once more.

Castiel blundered through the streets, his thoughts clouded. There was no set destination in his mind. He wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Anywhere but here.

Here was where Dean was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Something I probably should have mentioned in the first chapter. Fic title taken from the song of the same name by Florence + The Machine. 100% recommend you listen to it if you haven't ever before.**

**There will be side pairings in this fic, and they include Bela/Abaddon, Balthazar/Lucifer, and Sam/Jess.**

* * *

Castiel returned to the reaperhouse, visible lines on his face where tears had fallen. He curled up in his bed and piled all his blankets on himself. Ruby and Balthazar had wisely not said anything to him when they'd noticed his return, and Cas could hear the low sound of the TV going in the living room.

Later, when Castiel still hadn't fallen asleep, he heard someone entering the house. The TV was muted, and then a small flurry of voices started up.

Meg was back it seemed, if Cas was hearing correctly. That was all he picked up from the conversation, other than that whoever the new reaper was, Cas was not going to like it.

Castiel let out a deep sigh, buried beneath his pile of blankets, and told himself that he could do this. He could make it through this. Without Dean. He had to at least try.

Castiel fell asleep crying that night.

-x-

His alarm beeped at him insistently, telling him it was time to get up. He didn't want to leave his safe cocoon, though, so he just let it go.

He eventually fell back asleep, ignoring the alarm.

-x-

Castiel woke again when somebody roughly shook him. He groaned, but opened his eyes to glare at the person shaking him.

Ruby. "What?" he asked in a tiredly angry tone.

She grinned, but it didn't reach her eyes. "It's time for you to get up and face the world. We're supposed to be at Der Waffle Haus in half an hour."

Castiel shook his head and burrowed deeper into his blankets. Ruby sighed before ripping them off of him. "Now, Castiel," she growled, the smile gone.

Castiel raised his head to glare at her as she exited the room. A few more minutes were spent just lying in the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He didn't want to get up and face the world.

His love, Dean, was gone and he had to deal with dead people for a living. Not the kind of thing you typically celebrated. Finally, he dragged himself out and went to shower.

Ruby and Balthazar walked with him to Der Waffle Haus. They arrived before Meg and whoever the new reaper was. Ruby and Balthazar knew who it was, but refused to tell Castiel.

They were ten minutes early, and those minutes were spent in a strained silence. Castiel didn't even attempt a conversation, and Ruby and Balthazar eventually let him sit in a brooding silence.

Meg arrived soon after, coming from a different part of the suburb than where the reaperhouse was located. She'd had to move into Michael's apartment as she was newly in charge of this small sector of reaper's.

"Where's the new kid?" she asked as she sat down on the bench next to Cas, who wordlessly shrugged in return.

Ruby gestured around them. "Clearly, he's not here."

Meg narrowed her eyes at Ruby but didn't directly address her. "I told him eight am sharp."

No one responded to that, and the group once more fell into an uneasy silence.

Finally, at a quarter past eight, someone walked in. Someone who Cas had been informed was dead. In walked Dean Winchester, and he made a beeline for the reapers as soon as he spotted them.

-x-

Castiel's heart was pounding as Dean came over. An easy grin was on the blonde's face, and he took a seat on the side of the booth where Ruby and Balthazar sat.

"Hey there, Cas," he said with a smile. Castiel only stared back in shock. Dean was dead... but he'd become a reaper.

Castiel switched his gaze from Dean to Ruby. "Why didn't you tell me?" Castiel exclaimed, directing his words at her.

Ruby held her hands up in surrender. "It was more fun to let you think he was actually gone."

Castiel glared at her, not looking back at Dean, or over at Balthazar, or even at Meg.

Meg cleared her throat after a minute. "Dean, you know Castiel. That's Ruby," she pointed at the woman mentioned. "And that's Balthazar," again pointing to him.

Dean nodded but watched Castiel. Ashley the waitress came over and took their orders, a slight lapse in the silence that had once more fallen over the group.

Dean had been expecting Cas to be ecstatic when he found out Dean had become a reaper, but instead, Cas was angry.

Meg handed out their lists, mentioned something about how a different branch had been covering for them while they'd had their few days break, and then said to be at Der Waffle Haus at the same time the next day.

Castiel took his list from Meg, gave it a once over, waited for her to stand, and then left the building without saying a word to any of the other reapers.

-x-

Dean watched as Castiel walked away, hurt clear on his face. Balthazar and Ruby left together, leaving Meg and Dean together. Meg raised her eyebrows at Dean, a look of "I can't believe you."

Dean stared blankly at her, and she sighed. "You're not going to chase after your boyfriend?"

Dean blinked once and then he was running out of the diner. He looked around and spotted Cas' familiar black hair walking down the sidewalk stretching to the left, and he ran after it. "Cas!" he yelled, not caring when it drew stares from the other people outside.

Cas didn't stop walking, but Dean could see him tense slightly. "Cas," he called again.

Cas stopped at that, standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Dean could see the list of name's in his left hand, crumpled into a ball in his fist.

Dean grabbed hold of Cas' right hand, and asked quietly, "What's wrong, Cas?"

Cas didn't - wouldn't - look him in the eye as he answered. "I thought you were dead." He drew in deep, staggering breath, "but you're not. I don't know why I'm not happy," his voice cracked, "because now I get to spend so much longer with you."

Dean pulled Cas into a loose hug right there, in the middle of a sidewalk.

"I would much rather have you alive," Castiel sniffled, resting his forehead on Dean's shoulder, returning the embrace.

Dean nodded. "Meg gave me the quick rundown. I can't talk to Sam anymore, or see Jo. I don't know what I'm going to do without those two, but at least I know I have you."

Cas laughed slightly. "You could still visit them, you know. Michael was a lot worse than Meg is, and I still talked to you."

Dean drew away from the hug. "Yesterday Meg said that you'd be in charge of showing me the ropes."

Cas' eyes widened. "But I'm so new to this as well!"

"Well, what she'd actually said was that she'd planned on making Ruby teach me, but that would upset you."

Cas laughed again. "Well, let's go then. We've got a busy day ahead of us."


End file.
